Beyond Forgiveness

This life can be hard.

An arduous, repetitive, lonely, nauseous existence.
This soul. This spirit. Tested.
Time and time again
Prayer. bible. community
Prayer. bible. community
Prayer. bible. community
I try
I fail
I try again.
This spirit deserves to be protected.
How many men have I given life to?
Broken my spine to please? To keep?
Beautiful as I am?
Kind, sweet generous
Does any of it matter?
He no longer desires me.
I live in the quiet.
In the shadows of a more exciting girl
Stuck in patterns of anxiety and disappointment.
Dreaming… dreaming for more
Fantasizing about the realest of real love.
Few around me seem to have found it.
My parents seem to have kept it.
Do I believe it is possible for me? Yes. I am THE eternal optimist.
Connection above all
The only thing I’ve ever wanted.
A love of my own
A witness to my life
To see and be seen beyond forgiveness.
-Olive Benson