When Life Forces You To Say “I Am Not Okay.”

When Life Forces You To Say “I Am Not Okay.”

You may be used to answering the most common question “How are you?” with a positive “I am fine.” It gives us joy and pleasure to be in a happy state of mind and acknowledge those feelings with positivity. But what if the reality is otherwise? How does it feel when life is not good and you are prompted to say “I am not okay”? Or is it incorrect to accept the truth? Is it a sign of weakness when you are ready to accept your true feelings?

 We often grow up with the belief that it is weak to express our true emotions. It is not correct to address our sadness or talk about what makes us low. This common misunderstanding prompts us to believe that we must hide away our feelings for the overall state of well-being. By linking emotions to weakness, we think about the harm in addressing our deep feelings. But all of this mounts to greater problems in the future ahead. It is okay to feel sad, angry, disappointed or irritated. It is totally acceptable to feel low and dejected because life seems to throw in unexpected surprises. But, what is incorrect is not being true to ourselves. 

Acceptance is the first step to the solution. Unless you muster the courage to open up to yourself or your loved ones, you cannot expect any possible outcome. Putting up a brave front when life seems to tear you down will only make it extremely impossible to emerge out of the situation. Rather accept the chaos. Accept your defeat, failure, uncertainties and problems. Recognize the reality that your mind can turn weak too. And put aside that ‘superwoman/superman’ mask for a while. When you accept these problems, you will win half the battle. Our struggle to appear okay by pushing away all the troubles under the carpet does nothing but clogs our mind. It makes us handicapped with an overwhelming feeling that life is so difficult. Agreed it is not easy and no one promised us so, but will it turn better if we seek some solutions? Instead of denying the situation, the essential part is to address it.

Once you make peace with the reality, the path will automatically lit with solutions. Your methods may differ- whether you believe in taking some time off to be by yourself or find happiness in taking trips. Whether you find it beneficial to talk to your loved ones or simply engage in some hobby. The underlying factor is to find a way out. Each one of us can fail once in a while. Each one of us may hit a block or be sad for no reason. Each one can experience boredom or be tired of waiting for the result. The problem is not in experiencing any of these things. The problem is not knowing how to react. You can cry “Why me?” couple of times to let it out of your system, but once that is done it is necessary to act on the solution. 

Accept those tears, and let them flow. Or accept those sad thoughts, but do dispose them off as soon as possible. It is not abnormal to not feel normal. It is abnormal to assume normalcy all your life. You may not consider your life as perfect, yet it is yours and only yours to make it happy, joyful, happening and full of fun!

-Lavanya

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